Counselling
Find out how counselling can help you to overcome your challenges, provide insight into yourself and bring about positive change and growth.
What is counselling ?
Ever heard the phrase, a problem shared is a problem halved? Counselling sort of has that in its core, and a lot more! Counselling is a powerful and life changing form of therapy, where a trained and accredited professional helps individuals and couples to address any personal and emotional challenges that they may be experiencing. The trained professional is referred to as a counsellor or therapist. A working and trusting relationship is formed, and the counsellor/therapist provides a confidential and safe space for clients to explore thoughts, feelings and troublesome habits, and identify their origins, and any influences on them. Once this deeper understanding of things is achieved, the individual is able to gain more control over them and bring about change.
This increased understanding of 'self', often uncovers the reason (and answers the 'why' question about why somebody feels the way they do). This all takes place in a judgement-free and confidential space.
It is a process of working together to explore and understand the depths and origins of challenges to bring about positive change.
There is no standardised counselling template - each client and their challenges are unique. Therefore, various tools and methods should be used to fit the clients specific needs and challenges.
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How can counselling help you ?
- Difficult life events like bereavement, illness and relationship breakdowns
- Stresses of work or everyday life
- Anxiety issues and panic attacks
- Difficult emotions like low self-esteem, anger, shame etc
- Sexual identity
- Relationship challenges
- Trauma
- Sexual problems
- Sometimes clients need a private and confidential space to explore themselves and their general situation to gain deeper insight into what is going on.
In summary, counselling offers the space to talk about whatever is bothering you. It can help you to uncover root causes and contributing factors that may not be apparent or even in your awarenss.
Reveal the whole you
As a member of the
LGBTQ+ and kink community, I
understand
the importance of being able to talk about every aspect of yourself.
Counselling becomes powerful and works best when you can discuss every aspect of your life without holding any feelings or thoughts back. Sometimes this is not easy, and becomes a deep rooted defence mechanism in us. As members of the community, we all will have experienced shame or judgement at some point, and the impact that it can have on us. In fact, I had counselling many years ago and felt judgement from my therapist, so I am all too aware of the impact.
When you talk to me, you get to be able to show and talk about every single side of you without fear of judgement.
I've experience of counselling and therapy with many people (and not just from the LGBTQ+ and kink communities). I have experience in helping clients with challenges relating to extreme domestic abuse, illness, relationships, trauma, shame, grief, anxiety, ADHD and so on. This list is by no means comprehensive, but it demonstrates that counselling can bring about positive change in most, if not all aspects of life.
I also have awareness, understanding and skills in helping those who are neurodivergent and I can adapt my approach to adjust to, and compliment your needs.
You don't have to be LGBTQ+, Kinky, neurodivergent etc. I'm happy to work with everyone. The point is that I am able to offer a judgement and shame free environment where other struggle. I believe that everyone deserves a chance, and everyone is welcome to get high-quality help with me.
More about me
Hi, I'm Paul (he/him). I'm a kinky gay man, and I am a fully accredited counsellor, with hundreds of hours of client experience.
Anyone can say they are a counsellor. I am a member of the only counsellor accreditation body in the UK (BACP). This means that I have undertaken studies, training and assessments and meet the specific membership criteria which ensures quality. I have a degree in counselling and therapy and am currently undertaking further study at BA level. Before going further, I would like to stress the importance of knowledge and training, and that whoever you work with, please ensure you get the support you deserve by working with an accredited and trained counsellor.
I used to work in the corporate world and decided to leave that behind me when I decided life was too short, and I wanted to follow my passion of helping people.
Fastforward several years (and several years of intense study and assignment writing!) and here I am!
You may have seen me out and about, or you may have seen me at fetish events or presenting at community events about my own experiences with shame, judgement, being an introvert, etc and coming through the other side, and helping others by bringing together my own experiences and my training.
So, I have the training, skills and experience, but I also know that it is important that we get on and you trust me. I am very aware that if you contact me, it will be because you have decided that you need help and support. This is something that is very important to me, and I like to have an initial discussion to discuss your challenges, and for you to get to know me. I will also ensure that I feel qualified to assist. This is nothing to worry about. Having had counselling myself in the past, I know how important it is to get the correct support, so in the event that I feel that I have insufficient skills/training, I will be up front and tell you. In this event, I undertake to help you find someone who may be better placed than me to assist you.
Contact me if you'd like to learn more, or to ask any questions about counselling.
Success stories
"I have had many therapists over the years, some of whom I have paid a lot of money for. Without doubt, Paul has been the most effective and in 7 sessions, he has assisted me in understanding myself, understanding the origins of my behaviours, which have empowered me to move forward and make changes to my life"
"Paul focused on what was important to me, he accepted what I said without judging me, and showed warmth toward me. Paul also provided leadership during our sessions whenever that was appropriate but also followed my lead. Paul was kind, gentle and understanding and always put me first. He is my antibiotic to life"
"My life has changed a lot. I have worked through some hard and difficult things and have spoken about things that I have never been able to before. I have built a very strong bond with Paul and have felt totally heard and supported"
"I am able to understand myself because of Paul. I am now calmer and understand my needs and why I have them and I am not ashamed of that anymore"
A confidential and safe space
Many of my clients come to me because they need help and support, but there is often a part of their life that they can't reveal to other people.
Maybe your identity is something you hide from people. Maybe you want to speak to someone who is part of the LGBTQ+ or kink communities. Maybe you're in a complicated relationship and want to talk to someone who will understand. Whatever it is, I promise that you will be able to be completely open with all aspects of their life, which makes the therapy even more effective. I guarantee that you will receive the following:
- No judgement
- No shame/Shame-free
- Confidential
- Professional
- Understanding
- Accepting
Sessions are usually online at a time to suit you. I also offer in-person sessions in Manchester or London.
My costs
My counselling fee is currently £50 per hour. Each session lasts 50 minutes.
Sessions are delivered online. I deal with clients across the world and can tailor times to suit your needs. I also offer in-person sessions in Manchester and London, please contact me directly for details so that we can discuss your specific needs.
I offer a reduced fee for those in financial difficulty. Please contact me if this applies to you.
I am passionate about helping others, and with community at our heart, I also offer a pay-it-forward initiative. In simple terms, those who are able to, can purchase a set number of counselling hours, which I will match, and offer these hours free of charge to those in need. Please contact me if you wish to get involved in this and help those in need.
On the topic of cost, any payments are billed discreetly, so you don't have to worry who knows that you're getting counselling from a kinky source. We can even send you a totally safe for work invoice from a legitimate Companies House registered Limited Company... so you can even ask your work to pay without them even knowing why you chose me!